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One of my favorite super heroines is fairly new in the Marvel Universe. X-23 , or Laura Kinney, is a female clone of Wolverine . She has supernatural healing powers, acute senses, and claws that extend from her wrists and feet. Like Wolverine, X-23 was an experiment at The Facility and had adamantium molded to her extracted claws. She is a tortured soul who has, under The Facility’s control, murdered several. She has been well-trained in numerous forms of combat to advance her skills as an assassin. After managing to escape The Facility, Laura, starving on the streets, was forced into prostitution by Zebra Daddy (nice name, I know). Depressed and involved in self-mutilation, Laura did little to free herself until meeting fellow mutants Kiden Nixon and Catiana . Slowly she regained her strength, and killed her pimp. A series of murders and crimes eventually lead her to the X-Men. X-23 enrolled at the Xavier Institute, relying on Wolverine to help her gain some social competency (yikes). She is currently one of the few students with her power intact after M-Day *.

*M-Day: In order to appease his father, Quicksilver managed to convince his mentally unstable sister, Scarlet Witch , to change the world so that mutants reigned over humans. But once Magneto learned of his son’s manipulation, he felt betrayed. Magneto murdered Quicksilver in front of Scarlet Witch. Horrified and basically pissed, she revived Quicksilver, and then returned the world to its previous state by muttering, “No more mutants.” However, not everything returned as was– thousands of mutants discovered themselves powerless with no means of retrieving their abilities.

Thus far I have favored X-Men villains, but can you blame me? X-Men dishes out some good stuff, and well, it’s my favorite. However, I am aware that there are other comics out there with other villains to be honored. Like Carnage . Carnage is wicked, demonic, murderous, insane. He is the symbiotic spawn of Venom merged with serial killer Cletus Kasady. Before merging with the alien form, Kasady was a homicidal lunatic who sentenced his innocent father to the electric chair and pushed his grandmother down the stairs (among other killings). The symbiotic being only heightened his destructive nature, and gave him physical power of such great proportions that Spider-Man had to unite with Venom in order to defeat the creature. Carnage’s powers are similar to that of Venom: he can create detachable weapons from his alien form, has skin tough enough to prevent bullets and small weapons from penetrating the surface, and can decrease Spider-Man’s spidey sense. Unlike Venom, Carnage is not as sensitive to sound, but instead more sensitive to heat. Also, he looks scary as shit.

Side note: I would have chosen Venom as he is the original alien creature to wreck havoc on Spider-Man’s already mangled life, but there were other things to consider. Sure, Venom’s way of talking to himself and about himself (he refers to himself as “we”) is genius in a villainous sense, and the fact that this life force once controlled Peter Parker is pretty impressive. But Carnage is Venom plus some. I mean, it took Venom AND Spider-Man to bring him down. Also, the Carnage symbiote once detached itself from Kasady to attach to Ben Reilly, a clone of Spider-Man. So, I think that counts as controlling Spider-Man. Also, Carnage doesn’t refer to himself as “we” because the symbiote has managed to infiltrate Kasady’s bloodstream to where the two are essentially one malicious being. Where those attached to Venom could survive without the alien force, and have often simply been a victim to it, Kasady depends on Carnage as much as the symbiote needs a host. EVIL.

Magneto . Another terrific villain that I would immediately put at the top of the list. The best thing about Magneto is that his vicious ways are relative. With Apocalypse , it’s obvious the mutant has a sick mind twisted on power, death, and destruction. However, with Magneto everything he does has a purpose. He believes that all of his actions are for the good of his race, and after his barely surviving the Holocaust, it’s difficult not to sympathize with the guy. This is not to say that his killing sprees and declarations of war on humankind are justified, but that it’s easier to relate to him than most villains. Also, Magneto hasn’t just played bad guy, he’s been a good guy as well. And his power– his power is crazy magnificent. Magneto has the ability to manipulate artificially and naturally existing magnetic fields. He is also a genius of sorts when it comes to genetics and technology. One thing ya gotta love about Magneto is that when it comes to other villains, he always seems to be in control. Other villains have tried to capture him and control him, but Magneto always finds a way to reverse the situation to where he is suddenly commanding his enemy’s followers. You capture Magneto, you find yourself on a mission for Magneto– that’s just how it goes.

Oh, and like Apocalypse, Magneto has a thing against dying. What’s up with that?

It’s impossible to choose THE most villainous villain in the comic world, but Apocalypse is definitely near the top of the list. Also known as En Sabah Nur (”The First One”), he is the essence of evil. He is malicious and demonic in both appearance and demeanor. The threat of his powers alone is intimidating– with each issue Apocalypse seems to reveal another super ability. Thus far he can manipulate his molecules, fly, shape change, grow to incredible heights, is stronger than the Hulk , and can transform his body to imitate metals. Oh, and did I mention he’s a genius at genetics and just so happens to have advanced alien technology at his disposal? Yikes. Apocalypse is ruthless; a life means nothing to him as shown in the Age of Apocalypse series when he was responsible for the death of millions. Even his henchmen are gruesome. In his murderous travels, his followers have included the Horsemen and the Riders of the Storm. The Horsemen are creepier to me– they consist of four subjects who take on the aliases War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death. These positions have been filled by various sub-villains as well as superheroes Apocalypse has either manipulated or captured and mentally-altered.

Oh, and one more thing about Apocalypse… He never seems to die. It’s a common attribute among most villains that just adds to this one’s evilness.

So, I was looking through the character bios on the Marvel page and happened upon a little gem: Band of the Bland . It really can’t get more pathetically hilarious than that. God help me, I want to read those issues!

I missed Heroes last night. I never miss Heroes. I only watch two television shows religiously– Heroes and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia . Sunny is to bring laughter to my week, and Heroes… Heroes is the ultimate in a television series. It’s action, drama, and superpowers. Oh, and did I mention there’s an internet comic following the show? Yeah, ’cause there is. This series just can’t get any more badass.

Last night I saw the new vampire thriller 30 Days of Night . I actually enjoyed it. Naturally, like all vampire films, there were some characteristics of the vampires I could have done without, but other than that, no real complaints. In fact, unlike most vampire/zombie/werewolf movies, the actors (playing humans at least) were pretty good. The cast includes Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, and Ben Foster.

What ties this into comics? WELL in the opening credits I thought I saw Dark Horse Entertainment! I said to myself, “Nooo…. Dark Horse?” So I looked into it, and indeed Dark Horse had the hizzy on this film. I don’t know why I was surprised though– I knew they turned out Hellboy . It is their comic after all. However, upon further investigation I learned Dark Horse was the production company for The Mask and Mystery Men . Just thought that was interesting…

So now there are rumors of a new Hulk movie . This just makes me laugh because lately I’ve had quite the Hulk obsession. Not the kind of obsession I have with X-Men, where I’m always wanting to read more of the comics of varying titles and buy merchandise like I’m a normal woman in a shoe store… No no, not like that. More like I’ve become obsessed with the hilarity of Dr. Bruce Banner. I suppose the idea was a good one, especially compared to other tragic comic mishaps out there (like the Walrus villain discussed previously ). However, I don’t believe I will ever be a true Hulk fan. And the movie– oh god the movie was horrific! And now Marvel is making another? Haha! I’d say it couldn’t get worse except rumors are circulating that Edward Norton is the new Dr. Banner. Why Norton? WHY? I loved you so!

The latest X-Men film, Wolverine, is apparently under production. Rumors say filming will take place in Canada (naturally), Japan, and New Zealand. While in Japan, I wonder if he’ll run into his “comic love” Mariko Yashida? That’s right movie-fans– Wolverine does love someone other than Jean Grey. Crazy, I know. Also, it’s questionable how far they will travel into Wolverine’s past. Logan’s origin dates back to the 19th century. Yowza. We shall see, we shall see.

For articles with more updated information on the new film check out these sites:

• ComicBookMovie.com
• X-Men-Movies.com

I know I need to move on… But I just can’t. Here’s the lyrics to Hulk’s first cartoon theme song :

Doc Bruce Banner,
Belted by gamma rays,
Turned into the Hulk.

 

Ain’t he unglamo-rays!

 

Wreckin’ the town
With the power of a bull,

 

Ain’t no monster clown
Who is that lovable?

 

As ever-lovin’ Hulk! HULK!! HULK!!”